Back to rock bottom.

It’s been almost 2 years since this last happened.

I don’t know why or how this came about, 

But all I can seem to think about now is how much pain my mother was in last time. Sitting there watching her cry at the hospital was the hardest part of this all. I don’t want her to ever have to experience that again, but somehow I’m falling deeper. I don’t want to let this happen. It scares me. It’ll always scare me. 

All I can hope is that it only goes up from here. It needs to. I dont know how I’ll be able to handle it if it doesnt.